Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
