Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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