jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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