don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
