I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
