with your own penis?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize