You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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