I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
