Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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