so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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