So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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