now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
