i don't like sucking hair
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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