I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
