she was so not down for the gang bang
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We smell like vodka and hangover
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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