Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
and she was petting her beer can
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
BRING THE BAGELS
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
