I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize