He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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