it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
