Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
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I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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