The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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