Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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