I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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