The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
