remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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