dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
