My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That accounts for only three of the penises
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
