I need help removing her.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
