dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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