you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
