Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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