Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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