i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
