I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
