I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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