I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
