Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize