We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
