I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
