did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
