I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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