Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
