im six kinds of drunk right now
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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