This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
