I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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