Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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