Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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