Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
