I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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