Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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