Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
