You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
