Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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