The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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