my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
