This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize