If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
