This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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