Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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