I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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