Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
