I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize