How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
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i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
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My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.