the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent