I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
